Random thought: Taking pictures of random, uninteresting shit does not make you a photographer or an artist. It makes you an idiot.
Last in line
This site is about me being an ass. :-)
Rant about MySpace. I wrote this a while back.
Ok, WTF?!?! Is there anyone in the south that is not a complete redneck?
Here’s the thing. I am at work and srsly bored, so I am browsing people in my area to see if there is anyone I know that I am not already friends with. And yep, there are lots of people. People I went to school with, people that I have worked with in the past and all that good stuff. But the problem is, they are all rednecks now. My god what the hell happened to my generation? Most of the people my age have turned into country bumpkins. WTF!
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being county, hell I grew up in the south and used to run around barefoot. As I got older though, I grew out of that. I guess my problem with it is not country folk, it’s the ones with pictures of their dog on their profile, or a picture of a tractor.
I came across this one profile for a 29 year old woman and her profile picture was of a fucking john deere tractor! I shit you not! So, of course I had to click on it, and lo and behold, her whole profile was a john deere theme. That is wrong on so many levels. There is nothing fem about a fucking tractor! You’re supposed to have hearts and bunnies and butterflys and other such girly stuffs.
this is why I hate MySpace. srsly. WTF!
Really? Come on! *sigh*
This is so stupid that it’s hard to know where to begin. First of all, you didn’t fight for anything. Driving to the local burger joint and scarfing down a coronary burger is hardly fighting. If anyone fought, it was our ancestors, not you. Secondly, we humans are so self righteous that it borders on insanity. If you are so high up on the food chain, go stand out in the jungle for a few days and see how well you fair against a lion, or a hyena. There is a reason that we humans live in houses and not out in the elements. Yes we are smart (some of us), and yes we can kill most animals and fest on their flesh but to say we are on the top is nothing more than juvenile foolishness. If we are in a pack or tribe or whatever, yes, we can take down most animals but, in hand to paw combat, we can’t win.
And what the fuck is wrong with being a vegetarian? I’m a vegetarian and I think it’s great. I guess all of you meat eaters are just pissy because you probably won’t live as long. 
I just don’t enjoy Halloween as much as I used to. It’ seems that losing my religion has taken away that “eerie” feeling that always made Halloween special for me. See, when I stopped believing in god, I also stopped believing in the possibility of magic. I guess my brain concluded that since there is no god, there is NO magic at all. So witchcraft (which I always sorta believed in) has also been eroded from my mind. Of course I always believed it was one of the devils tricks and that it was the great satan that was causing people to believe in such things, and not real magic. Still, it did give me a sense of wonder.
So here it is, almost Halloween, and the only thing I have to look forward to is getting drunk at a bar that is having a Halloween party. The same thing I did last year and the year before that…… and the year before that.
It’s just so damn depressing. At least when I believed in god, I also believed in the existence of hell, the devil, witchcraft and all other sorts of creepy things. Even though I tried my best to follow the word of god and be a good little christian, I still felt drawn to do bad things for the thrill of it. And I don’t mean like killing someone. I just mean like having kinky sex, smoking, drinking, swearing, wearing dark make-up and painting my fingernails black. I enjoyed reading about witches and demons and other such things. Now that I have lost my belief in the spiritual world, I’ve lost my curiosity for the dark and forbidden. I guess I liked it because it WAS forbidden. Now, I don’t believe that. I think it’s all just something to do until we die. It sucks to have something like that taken away from you.
I think I was happier when I believed in fairy tales. I suppose, one day I will recover from all of this but it’s just not coming soon enough. I figure I lost my faith about 3 years ago. I still almost, kinda, sorta believed but I could tell that my faith was slipping, and slipping fast. I don’t remember the exact date that I said my goodbyes to the faith but I remember is was painful. I hate knowing that so many people have been lied to like I was. My daughter believes in god, I think. My son doesn’t seem to care either way. I hope that my children never feel the way that I do about it. I think it’s better from an emotional standpoint, to have it all or nothing. Having god, and then losing him, is a great loss emotionally. At least it was for me. I guess the question is; is it better to have loved god and lost then to never have loved him at all?
I really wish I had an answer to that. Losing my faith has damaged so many parts of my life that I am still discovering them. It’s kinda like when I quit smoking. It permeated so many parts of my life that when I gave it up, I had a hard time doing anything because EVERYTHING reminded me of it. And it sucks because Halloween was my favorite holiday. It was the day that all of the freaks came out to play and everyone unleashed their dark side. It was heavenly. For me anyway. If heaven does exist (which I know is asking for a lot) then I hope it’s like Halloween, only for real. Oh, to have real ghosts and goblins to play with and to wrap my painted black fingers around. Muhahahaha!!!
Ignorant fag hating hicks!
It pains me to say it, because this is my home. The fact is, unfortunately, that Freethinkers and the open minded simply do not belong in the south.
I was born and raised in southeastern Tennessee so I know what I am talking about. So when I saw the news report of an Arkansas school board member making hatful comments on his Facebook page about how all fags should get A.I.D.S. and die, I wasn’t a bit surprised. People who live in other parts of the country, rightfully view southerners as backwards, knuckle dragging, cousin fucking simple minded hicks. The cliché’s about the south are mostly true. We are a bunch of ignorant hicks. Well, most of us. And I say “us”, not because I am one of the ignorant but because I am from the south. I would guess that 80% of the people in the south fit the bill for the general consensus of southern culture.
I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that the south has yet to evolve beyond the ignorant beliefs of yesteryear. “Fags” don’t deserve to die any more than “straight” people. We all have a right to live. Just because you believe in the religious bullshit teachings of goat herders, does not mean you have some elevated right to life. It doesn’t make you “above” anyone else. You are still an ignorant hick!
I have been thinking of moving out of the south for a very long time now. This may just be the push I need. Some of the news reports that I have been hearing have said that what this fag hater has said, is not the way the rest of the community feels. I say bullshit! They don’t want to look like morons in the eyes of the rest of the nation, so of course they are saying that. The truth is most small country towns hate fags and want them to die. I have grown up around it. I will admit that there is a small group of people in the south that do accept people regardless of sexual orientation but that is a very small group.
I have always considered myself to be a straight man, so I don’t know what it feels like to be bullied because of my sexual identity. I have however, been bullied for other reasons, so I know what it feels like to be put down and cast out. It sucks. It sucks bad. I am 33 years old and I still wake up some nights from nightmares of that time in my life. And it was 20 years ago! So you can’t say that bullying doesn’t have a lasting impact. I wanted to kill myself so many times back then. I just never could go through with it. I used to cut myself a lot though. I still have a lot of scars from that time in my life. I know now how stupid it was but it seemed to be the only way to cope at the time.
So I’m waiting to see what happens with this guy. I hope the community has enough intelligence to at least fire him. He has no business around children. He even said on his page that he would kick his own kids to the curb if they were gay. It’s sad that people have that much hate inside them. It’s no wonder that people in the south are some of the unhealthiest people in the country. That much hate must weigh a lot on your heart and mind. I guess that is why the south is the heart attack capital of the country right now. Too much hate can kill you from the inside out. I do hope for his children’s sake that he has a change of heart but it’s not very likely. Maybe his kids will turn out better than he did. I just know I would hate to grow up in that household.
More on this later. Maybe.
almost that time again
it’s almost time for another out of town conference. yay fun. get to go and rub shoulders with all of the churchy people and talk about how much god loves us and blah blah blah.
It’s getting harder and harder for me to do this job. I plan on going back to school soon so maybe that will open some doors for me. I hope so. being the only atheist in this whole organization has proven to be difficult. very difficult. It seems like every conversation I have with anyone here, involves god or the religion in some way. Why can’t we have a meaningful conversation without someone mentioning jesus? WTF?
Oh well. I have no choice but to deal with it because it is a good paying job and right now those are hard to come by.
Fuck!
Always the last in line.
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- 2011-01-06
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- Rant about MySpace. I wrote this a while back.
- 2010-12-16
